‘Manners at Mansion’ to return in early June

A local organization is once again seeking to impart etiquette to children at the people’s house this summer.

Friends of the Missouri Governor’s Mansion, a group dedicated to preserving and stewarding the mansion’s history, interior, collections and educational programs, will host “Manners at the Mansion,” an annual event for elementary age children to learn about proper etiquette while exploring one of Missouri’s historical buildings.

Manners at the Mansion began with first lady Jean Carnahan, who wanted to help young people learn to set a table, introduce themselves, and be polite in society.

“That started a tradition every mid-summer after school was out to invite young people to be left off at the front gate and then for their guest (a family member) to come and have the three-course lunch that the students themselves had set the tables for,” said Lizabeth Fleenor, a 22-year docent.

Hosting the event are 15 volunteer docents teaching a series of 40-minute classes on courtesy that the children rotate through. Patty Morrow, an 11-year docent, teaches a class on communications in which students write thank you cards and sympathy cards.

Teachers place index cards on the table with different adjectives like “magnificent” or “beautiful,” and as the students are writing the notes, they can get inspiration on creative and descriptive ways to thank their host. At the end of the event, the final drafts of their thank you cards go to the first lady.

Another class will teach children how to set the table, and another will show them how to eat properly. Kids also learn things like how to go through a receiving line.

They also sometimes get to meet the first lady and take a picture with her.

The main event is a lunch in which parents are invited back to eat with their children and witness all the different things they’ve learned. At the end of the day, children get a certificate of completion and a few goodies to take home.

Some graduates of previous Manners at the Mansion sessions now have kids of their own that they send to the mansion.

The program is open to children ages 8-12 and runs from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. June 6-8. Registration is still open with a few more spots available on June 6 and 7. The cost is $125 per child, and children only sign up for one of the days. Registration is at missourimansion.com.

The event endeavors to give children the skills that they need to be able to navigate a variety of social situations with grace.

Morrow recalled one year that an 8-year-old boy was sitting with his father during the lunch: “His dad said, ‘Well, tell me how you feel after this.’ … He said, ‘I feel like I can go anywhere I want to go and just do fine.’ And it was so perfectly articulate, and I’m going, ‘Yes!’”

“If we had a slogan — we want them to be able to go anywhere and do just fine and feel comfortable and feel OK, no matter my background, my color, my religion, my upbringing. I am confident that I can manage myself,” Fleenor chimed in.

The setting also lends a special aura to the

proceedings.

You can see in the children’s eyes as they sit in the building that they’re thinking, “I have to

live up to the mansion,” Fleenor said.

Docents also share some history about the building with the kids.

“We do it because we love kids, and we love courtesy,” Morrow said.

“Yes,” Fleenor agreed. “I love passing the lineage of this is how you (can) be courteous and gracious as a hostess. And if you do that, you will always have that. It’s kind of like something that blossoms at a young age, and they take it with them.”